Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
