Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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