So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize