My brain says no but my pants say off.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
