SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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