definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
