I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
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I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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