drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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