you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
