People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
