using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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