You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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