im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
