just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
