youre lurking in front of me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
