O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
