doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
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I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
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The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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