To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
