I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
