How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
