I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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