I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
did i walk over a car last night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
