I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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