this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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