I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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