I seem to have left my pride at pride
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
