I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize