Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
