Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
