i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
