and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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