this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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