The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?