Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Found the puke drawer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner