I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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