Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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