Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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