i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
