I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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