'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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