Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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