kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
