I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
