Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
well you can't waste a boner
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
