No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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