We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
