You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
