im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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