butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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