Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
