I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
