What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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