If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want her autograph on my taint
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
