Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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