we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
