your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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