You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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