so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
