There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
