I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
