If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
