yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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