i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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