I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want to have your abortion
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
