We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This baby is an asshole
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
