Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There are leaves in my underwear?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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